But what the actual fuck.
TODAY IS SO FRUSTRATING. PEOPLE! GAH!
Sometimes people are the worst.
I did a lovely shoot this past weekend in some really beautiful light one evening. I mean, I got home from work, ran for the camera and grabbed the pup and hopped in the truck to go shoot in that light, under that sky. There were rain clouds and rain shadows and late afternoon sun and rolling hills and ring-necked pheasants and rocky buttes and… I digress.
For some unknown reason my card reader in my laptop is not recognizing my SD card. Turns out this is a common issue with my particular machine. Now my camera is also not recognizing it which most likely means that the card needs to be reformatted but if I do this I will LOSE all those photos I took.
Never fear. I haven’t given up quite yet. But worst case scenario, I will post at a later time while crying over my coffee about the lost pictures which would have turned out to be the best shoot of my life. (A little melodrama never killed anyone, right?)
Also, I really missed the boat by forgetting about the lunar eclipse last night. Oops. Oh and happy tax day.
Finally fixed the html tweak that was causing my photosets to show up twice when you viewed them as a post alone. Thank goodness. That was driving me INSANE.
I feel sure that this happens to everyone on occasion. Here I sit, a steaming thermos full of coffee, staring at the snow melting out the window and the 60 pages that are my yet unfinished thesis. (Consequently, do you know the definition of thesis? “a statement or theory that is put forward as a premise to be maintained or proved.” Gracious, that is intimidating.)
Even as I acknowledge that I, myself, am lucky and fortunate and grateful, and look forward to what this year will bring, that old familiar feeling creeps in.
Is it simple nostalgia? (“a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past”) Is it melancholia? (“a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.”) Why is it I feel slightly… forlorn? Perhaps it is the simple reflection on endings. The past year brought a few significant ones, (If I am truthful with myself, just one significant one that pushes forward unbidden) and in the upcoming month a few more endings will occur. Life changes come with reflection, I suppose, and make us sharply aware of where we have been and where we may be going to.
At the moment, I feel like cloistering myself somewhere with a good book from my ever-growing stack. I would read and ponder and lament the fact that I don’t draw or paint regularly anymore. Shame on me. This must be remedied.
Whatever we label it, I find it very disruptive. Rude of such a thing to push forward today on an idle Tuesday, is it not? I am generally a happy, bright, optimistic type and this is certainly not my usual modus operandi. It is vaguely reminiscent of the years of teenage angst where we feel everything so profoundly and sharply and intensely. But I am nearly 24…
More coffee, yes, perhaps that is the solution.
Oh gracious… I’m quite certain that I am now blushing furiously. (My followers seem to have a knack for eliciting this kind of response. How do you all do it?) Jason, you never fail to be incredibly sweet. Thank you, thank you!